My first week as a mom

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My first week as a mom was not what I had expected to say the least. Cooper was born on Tuesday, April 2. We had a pretty typical day at the hospital on Wednesday. I fed him and changed him and he went to the nursery so I could rest some.

I was having trouble sleeping so that night about 10 the nurse gave me a sleeping pill. It worked pretty quickly. At midnight, I woke to one of the resident doctors who helped deliver him saying something was wrong. They believe Cooper had a seizure while in the nursery and he was going to be transported to the NICU 30 minutes away. I was stricken with pain, shock and fright. She said they were going to try to release me so that we could follow him up.

The next several hours are a blur. Tim and I both jumped up and gathered our things while waiting on the nurse. She came in and gave me brief discharge instructions on my healing process. We went to the nursery and kissed him. We left the hospital a few minutes before they left with Cooper. They said we wouldn’t be able to see him for a couple of hours so when we got there, we found a hotel to rest. It was about 2 a.m. at this point. Tim pulled out Cooper’s hat from the hospital and we held it in our hands together and cried. I said a prayer and we fell asleep.

When we woke it was 6 a.m. so I called the hospital to see if we could see him. We could. Nothing could prepare us for what was next. It wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t great. He was lying on a warming bed with wires coming from his little head. The nurse explained that the monitor was recording his brain activity to check for any more seizures. He also had a small tube in his mouth because he had air in his belly.

My heart sank and tears began to stream down my face. I could touch him, but I couldn’t rub him and definitely couldn’t pick him up. My heart broke into a million pieces.

I have to admit, that day is a blur too. I know we saw a doctor at some point. We slept some. We cried more. After waking at 10 that night and eating, I missed him so bad I couldn’t stand it. The great thing about the NICU is you can visit 24/7. So we went to see him before going to sleep again.

The next day, Thursday, the doctor took the wires out of his head and I could hold him. The most painful thing as a new mother is being told you can’t hold your baby. I do not wish this on anyone. He also said that because Cooper had no seizure activity they believed Wednesday night was a pseudo seizure. He acted like he was having a seizure, but nothing happened in his brain. One sigh of relief.  That day we could also feed him. He started on small amounts because his belly was a little upset.

The next couple of days, they took his IV out, checked his jaundice levels and just monitored him. Friday and Saturday night, the hospital gave Tim & I a room to stay free of charge. It was easier being right there in the hospital. My mom drove down every day to be with us and visit him. Looking around at the other babies in the NICU, I felt so blessed that my little one was doing so well. The nurses in the NICU were like angels. I honestly don’t know how anyone does that job. It must be one of the hardest on Earth. Not only were they concerned about our baby, but they were concerned about me healing from childbirth.

Finally on Sunday, after we kept thinking we were going home, Cooper was put in a room with us in a crib. He came to our room around dinnertime. We could take care of him and the nurses would take his vitals a few times and be there if we needed them. Tim and I took turns getting up to feed him and the night went very well. We fully expected to take our little man home the next day.

The next day, Monday, April 8, the doctor came and talked to us and checked Cooper out. He said the magic words. We were going home. Cooper would be a week old the next day. Within the hour, we were loaded up taking Cooper home where he belonged.

I must also mention for those of you who don’t know, April 8 is the day my daddy went to heaven three years ago. It was a very emotional day. Thank God we got to take Cooper home that day.

My first week as a mom was the longest and most tiring ever. I wasn’t up all night feeding and rocking him. I was up all night visiting him in the NICU, crying and praying. I’m thankful that God got us through this and it only brought us closer together.

My birth story

Cooper Grant Baldwin. 4/2/2013. 9:15 p.m.

7 lbs. 9.3 oz. 19.5 inches long.

I kept thinking Cooper would come when I kept having Braxton Hicks contractions for days, but they never got close together. At 7 a.m. on April 2, I woke up and went to the bathroom. Tim was getting ready for work. He would’ve been leaving in about 5 minutes or less. I went back to the bedroom and sat on the bed and boom! My water broke. I first yelled for Tim, but realized he couldn’t hear me. I went out to the kitchen and told him. He was so excited and I was shaking like a leaf. My first phone call was to my mom at work after I figured out what I was doing. She was so anxious but soon on her way. Tim & I got the last things together that we needed for the hospital and once my mom arrived, we headed to the hospital.

When I arrived at the hospital, they checked me and I was 3 cm and about 80% effaced. Contractions hadn’t started yet so I wasn’t in any pain. I got put in a room, hooked up to my IV and the anesthesiologist came to discuss my epidural. Still, no pain yet. About 30 minutes later, boom, I felt the worse pain of my life. I was in tears with contractions so they hurried the epidural up a bit. I honestly had no idea how bad contractions would hurt. The epidural was heaven and I didn’t feel that needle going in at all.

The next several hours went by. I was checked and tried to rest. About 5 p.m., I was almost fully dilated. They decided to let me push once, but Cooper’s heart rate dropped a little. Then they said it would be best if I could labor down since I wasn’t in any pain and just wait until he was a little more ready. 

At 8 p.m., it was time. I felt the urge to push. It was originally going to just be Tim and I in the delivery room. But my mom knocked on the door and we told her to come in. It just seemed right for the three of us to be there as he was born. My contractions were still about 3 minutes apart, but I started pushing. And at 9:15, my beautiful baby boy was born. I cried the happiest tears I have ever cried. He was perfect.